perfection

you know it’s funny . . i’m an anti-perfectionist yet i’m a perfectionist . .

i’m not the perfectionist in the way of shoes having to face this way . .  or my hair needs to sit that way . .

but my perfectionist habits tend to lie in my goals . . and the things i do that lead to those goals . . each little step needs to be PERFECT . . never to make a mistake . .  never to put a foot wrong . . but if i do make a mistake . .  each MISTAKE has to be PERFECT . . i can’t let anybody know that i’m NOT perfect in my abilities . . in anything i set out to do . .

. . but i’ve learnt now that BECAUSE of that i’ve missed out on opportunities . . advancements . .

see the thing i’ve realised is . .

when you chase perfection . . when you make PERFECTION your ultimate goal . . you get distracted . . distracted by chasing something that doesn’t exist . . you make YOURSELF feel like a loser . . you feel like shit . . and make everyone around you feel like shit . .

Perfection? No such thing.

Nobody feels perfect 365 days of the year . . millionaires . . superstars . . celebrities . . even if they DO have it all . .

So i’m reprogramming my mind to think of failure as an opportunity . . to learn . . to be a better version of myself . . it’s kind of a “behind the scenes” to what will happen if i fuck up again . .

But whatever DOES happen . . i take responsibility. I create my OWN world . . if you DON’T believe you’re creating your own world . . your successes . . your failures . . then you’re at the mercy of circumstances . . things just “HAPPEN” to you . . you’re an OBJECT . . not a subject.

So when some plan doesn’t work out how i wanted . . i don’t attach negative emotions to it . . i don’t attach negative emotions to something that doesn’t work.

I use THAT failure and figure out what went wrong . . tweak it . . and try it again.

It’s that simple.